There comes a time when you've just reached your limit and you're just done with this kinda shit. I mean come on, effort is required from both people if they want to be friends, lovers or colleagues. One sided effort never works. I should have listened to my gut, he was just bad news.
My uncle is just so ill, his motor neuron disease has progressed to the stage where he was told by the doctors that he should buy a breathing support machine. I was so shattered when I heard this and I couldn't talk to you about it, cuz well you're just so fucking obsessed with yourself and you expect me to be there for you..But where the heck are you when I need you?
My uncle may not survive til the end of the year and I have to accept that his time is nearing even though that is one of the hardest things to accept. He is like a father to me, he talks to me and has done things for me that my own father didn't even do. I have so much love for him and he is the only significant, inspirational and loving male figure in my life and I'm so afraid to lose him.
Generally, the males in my life have been utterly pathetic and I'm gonna lose the only man who gave me hope that there are good men out there.
When I do lose him, I have to be strong enough on my own to pull myself together. I've decided that if you want to be there for me then you better decide because I rather be alone and fighting to pull myself up from this grief than think I've got a shoulder to lean on because you thought you'd be there but as usual you chickened out in the end and I'm left all alone and unprepared for being alone.
It is honestly your call, cuz I've reached my limit and I'm sick of the same old shit. Its exhausting, unhealthy and honestly now not worth my time. This is the last chance there aren't going to be any after this.
I'm done with that shit and I want to start over. I want to be strong on my own and I would really appreciate if you could just fucking leave me alone you know.
As much as I love you, I'm sick of loving you and to even bother to show you that because I realised that there isn't any point. Your brains are so fucked to the point where I know you're frozen. You're cold hearted and you've been corrupted by the worlds superficial things. Now don't get me wrong, I'm totally cool with that its your life do what you want but don't you dare drag me along with you on a ride.
I am not a ride that you use when you feel lonely, I'm a keeper.
If you can't see that, then too bad...many others do and men like you are as easy to find as pie.
So you've got til Christmas to decide if you want to be a part of my life or not. Cuz after that i've already decided that I don't want you to be a part of my life nor do I want to be a part of yours. Cuz I've fixed myself time and time again to be broken by you at the end. This time, I aint gonna get broken and there isn't gonna be any fixing involved.
All I ask is for you to be a good friend or a companion or just someone I can talk to, but that too you completely suck at.
Well guess what boy? The world doesn't run on just taking, you gotta learn how to give too.
If you can't, then by all mean there's the door and feel free to walk out.
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