This is a freaking random post, after reading the sherwood textbook for a while and also after talking to my mom.
Talking to mom always makes me happy, tho I did cry on the phone cuz she was telling me a few things that made me REALLY ANGRY with some family members..uncles and aunties. I've become the kind of person that i tell anyone how i feel about a certain issue in the most polite manner and I don't care about what they think. I think its their turn to see what I've got. Tired of them telling my mom things that make her upset.
Another thing that I realized when I spoke to mom today was, that though there may be some things I would like to have but my mom can't provide me at the moment with..due to all the responsibilities but she's providing me with the education...which is the key to everything in the future. They say,
"Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime"
Its true what they say. She's giving me something that I can use to buy myself anything I want or do anything int he future with. Without education in this time of day, you get nothing. I hope my stupid sister gets this, cuz she's such a pain in the ass these days. I miss the little, caring, cute and intelligent girl she used to be. Now life for her is only about being superficial and materialistic. She's forgotten her family entirely...which saddens me, but now I've become used to her not being there..and that is her fault entirely. I tried, but she didn't.
I've been having FREAKY dreams about being raped lately, but last nights dream was the worse. I got raped by somebody that I used to know and it freaked me out cuz I would NEVER expect that person to ever do such a thing. Zhen thinks I've got unresolved issues with that person, I think its cuz my mind playing with me.Haven't dreamt about that person in a LONG LONG time. And the worst part about my dreams, I wake up with bruises on my thighs and legs. Freaky much?
I went for my Brisk walk with Leonard today, which was good. Did 4.31km, not the usual 5km but as long as I'm exercising its all good especially the chats we have these days, such random stuff but i truly enjoy it. A random bible quote that perfectly suited something at that time that leonard remembered was,
"Why do you pay attention to the speck of sawdust in you brother's eye, and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"
- Matthew 7:3 :)
Also met Snow today, and I had such a good time with him...he was such a sweetheart, for some reason he thought it was his treat and eventhough I kept telling him no..he ended up treating me :) Thank you Snow, you made my day! Best part was the funny convo and my bimbo moment at 7eleven.
Snow has this really cool sony tablet, which is like an Ipad, but its around RM1200 and its so freaking cool. Its memory was 16GB and I'm thinking of getting one once clinicals start so i can put in E books and study at my convenience anywhere at the hospital especially when I've got time. I'll see how that goes, at the moment I'm going to put my phone on hold cuz i think the tablet thing is more important.
Anyways, I better get back to doign physio, I wanna atleast finish the peripheral endocrine part. I've got so much more left, and the stupid review is tomorrow :(
I hope I do well for Pro's, I have faith but yet I need God by my side to walk me through this tough time. With all the stuff that happens around all i want is God to hold my hand and walk with me, my fear will be gone once and for all. I know I'm not perfect God and I've made many mistakes but please forgive me and eventhough at times it may seem I've given up hope on you..but in actuality You're always in my head, subconsciously and I've always had faith in you. At a point I believed that if I was angry at you, you'll listen to me. Now I've realised, you've always been listening but I could never see that :) Thank you and sorry!
toodles people, Party like rockstars cuz I can't :)
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