Its funny how people change roles in life. One day you're a beggar and the next day you're a king. One day you're the loser the next day you're a winner. One day you're a lover the next day you're a hater. The best part about all the above I've mentioned is, it can be the other way around.
I've decided to take a stand in life, and do things the way I want them done. Life is short and if I don't live it the way I want, I'll definitely regret it. And there isn't anything in life til today that I've really regretted.
When you've hit rock bottom in life, there is only one way to go and that's upwards. My life has given me so many horrible surprises that if i had to write a book, I'm sure it'll be a best seller! haha.
But I know in order to get out of this circle of disasters, I have to become someone and with my power of strength help others who are like me, or at that time need the help they can get.
I feel I've lost a huge battle, I feel like I've lost my two closest people...I feel like this is it. But deep down inside, I have hope that all this is just a hurdle that we all have to pass and things will be just like before.
There is no guarantee but there is hope.
We humans depends a lot on hope I've realized. At times it lets us down, while at other times it saves us. May be i have hope because I'm too afraid to accept the truth or what the future holds, or may be cuz i still believe in the work of God.
"Everything in life happens for a good reason, everything is a test. We just have to see the bigger picture" - This is what I honestly believe in but recently I have to admit its hard to believe, especially when life isn't giving you its best. But I realized i still very strongly believe things will get better one day. I just hope it isn't too late when they do. That is my only fear.
God is always with me, but sadly lately I feel far from God. But I'm glad he hasn't given up on me. I'm on the right path i hope,and God, Please do stay with me even if i push u far.
Its like being in deep 20 foot hole in the ground, and all you see above is the light so far away. You feel as if, the darkness is going to engulf you. You feel as if this is it, your life is ending. But then that light far away keeps you believing that you'll find a way out, that its not that far..may be you can climb out? That is the only warmth left and that is the only hope. That one ray of light coming from above.
I just hope, that my hope isn't what tears me apart in the future.
If it does, then I guess that's how it was meant to happen.
God please be with me every step of the way, through this rough journey of mine. I have never asked u for anything but this I have to ask...only because my sanity lies here.
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