Today's been a little rough, I've got so much going on in my head it's gnawing at my focus and my soul.
I've got so much of feelings and thoughts that I need to pour out but I will never be able to express myself by talking, writing has always been my way. I think it's because humans always put me down and I started to keep things to myself or blog about it. The only reason I blog is because very few people know about my blog and read it...and I feel that even if the raw emotions I have inside inspire someone I would count it as a blessing.
It's hard to fight the subconscious mind, and the tricks it plays in your sleep.
I wish it was easier for me to talk to someone, but it just isn't. I used to be able to once upon a time. But zig zag ruined that and so did a bunch of friends who I trusted but they left me( to to sink in my own wrecked boat)
But that's the past and I've been over it, and I haven't been able to trust people After not the way I did.
I did for a short time trust someone, let's call him "Libra". Libra however didn't know what to make of what I had expressed at a mamak. The weird thing was it was the one time I actually felt like expressing...but I was shut down. Libra shut down. I guess zigzag and libra have that in common, being feelingless and not wanting to hear about problems and feeling that someone that they so call care about has.
Too bad, cuz it's too late.
I'm too far in my cage to come out for anyone, not even for God himself.
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