Lately i cant sleep, i have no idea why. i get up early sleep at like 4. Its a vicious cycle and hence i fall in dead sleep alot, unfortunately i can never have dreamless/nightmareless sleep. It just hasnt happened in a while, except twice...but that was something different i felt special that night, protected maybe.
I dream about that particular thing, every night. Not once even that thing is out of my stupid dream, even a glimpse is more than enuf but still that thing will always be there. I have no idea why. People say when you dream about some one, its cause they are thinking about you....in my case i doubt that.
Cuz again, i am not worth it.
Not only did my self-confidence go further down the drain, but so did my heart and mind. The only thing left is my soul..which has gotten stronger. I feel so weak sometimes, i still dont know why.
I hate the fact that i have to see that thing, who hurt me so much...so frequently in my head. The thoughts somehow don't leave. what will it take for me to stop caring? i don't get myself at all?
I'm still in pain, i feel the sting. And yes i know when i'm being thought of or missed, sometimes it can hurt to know too much but what can i say i cant do much. Its that specialness that i cant get rid of, atleast not now.
oh wells, the result of something like this will be told over time, and if that thing actually really gives a damn about sorting it out and not leaving it hanging.
i hate being left hung...
Am i stuck in a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare?
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