June 7, 2009

I don't think you trust, in my self righteous suicide, i cry when angels deserve to die...



I was sitting in the car on the way with one of my friends V who was driving and next to him was another friend of his. Didn't really recognize the face. The car felt a little warm, as if we were in a desert but no, we were on a road....where no other cars we. I was a little puzzled as i didn't really know where we were. The car smelt musty and i was sat behind on the left. I realized that someone was sitting by my right. When i turned to see it was F.

What was she doing here, she's not supposed to be here. I'm not talking to her! She looks at me blankly and then turns her face looking outside the window. V and F are having some kind of conversation. I wasnt really paying attention as i was just to puzzled about what were we all doing here and where were we going?

"oh my god, jus talk to her" grumbled V. I turned to see what he was talking about and to my surprise i heard F talk...normally as if nothing ever happened.
"hey, how you doing?please say something"

I was so shocked, why was she talking to me? Why was she making it so hard for me to ignore her? I wanted to speak to her i really did, but i just couldnt not after all that had happened. SHe knew i am soft hearted and would melt away. My lips quivered, and my eyes filled with tears. But i quickly turned away facing the window so she couldnt see my face,keeping my face as stern as i could. She too turned away facing her side window.

Suddenly V stopped the car and i was like "where are we?". NO one answered me. Confused.lost and hurt. V got out of the car and opened the door for F to get out. She grabbed her bag and started walking away as the sound of her heels followed behind. Then V came over to my side of the car and opened the door and just stood there. I tried to get out but he pushed me back.

I looked at his face and he looked different. NOt the usually flirty, funny and nice V..but a dark, raging V stood infront of me with a huge scar on his head from the front to the back. What had happened to him? His nice haircut? He was bald as if he had just taken a razor and shaved his head scruffily.

"why are you not letting me out?" i said angrily. No answer.
I pushed him off and managed to get out of the car. I looked around and it was a street in the middle of a desert. With shop lots which had all closed down and another street leading somewhere else. There was not a single soul around here.

Suddenly as i start walking, V grabbed me and pushed me between 2 wall. He started to rip my clothes apart trying to strip me. I kept screaming at the top of my lungs
" HELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"
"HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
"HeLLLLLPpppPPPP"
I saw F walking,she wasnt too far. But not once did she turn to look at me. NOt once did she turn around and try to help me. She just kept walking.

V grabbed my the neck and choked me. I gasped for air. He was trying to shut me up. He was so strong and i was so weak, i tried to find his crotch with my legs so i could kick it but due to the lack of air and dizzyness i just couldnt concentrate.so i decided to keep trying to ask help so that F could hear me. HIs hands were all over me and tears rolled down my face. I was hurting both inside and outside. I still managed to cry for "Helllppp" again and again and again. But to no awail. F just kept walking further and further and further...

He had taken off my clothes and was now trying to take off my undergarments.I tookOnce last glance at F walking away....

My eyes opened and i sat up. I was breathing heavily more like panting as if i had run for miles and miles. my blanket was drenched with sweat and my clothes were stuck to my body because of the sweat.I looked around and i was in my warm, cozy room. No one was there. Checked the time from my handphone and it was 4.40a.m. wow! What kind of dream did i have?
Did it mean something? Was it a sign?

You tell me...

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